Librarian of Alexandria

Quotes

But I want no part in [photographs]. I don't want to stare at some photo of me at 21 when I'm 50 and contemplate everything I was, or could have been. I don't want to have to drown in partial truths, grasping at a falling memory to paint in details. I'd rather either remember, or not. Rather know, or forget. I'd rather be able to molt my life as it goes, letting the useless bits drop away as the important becomes more dear.

When I reach backwards into my life, I want to know what I find to have been defining. To have been something I couldn't shake, couldn't let go of. I want to forget the pointless birthday parties, and the group shots at the bars where so-and-so is making that face she makes, and I'm half-drunk, and look that's what's his face that guy who dated whoever that is. I want to reach and find the things I couldn't photograph: the moments I knew, the moments we forgot; the street sign all lit up with sun as our car drove towards home; the view of the skyline when I left; the dodge balls as they barreled towards me; the way it felt to run in the rain, drunk and mad, screeching towards the bar like a five-year old on a sugar high.

I'd rather be able to forget, so that I can remember.

—Jack Shedd