Librarian of Alexandria

VIII: The Unsurprising Leftovers from Aunt Lettie's Last Four Weddings, or, Truth Globules

I'd like to share with you the real things that a teacher of mine once said to me. Of course, he wasn't actually my teacher, not in any kind of academic sense. And he didn't say these things, in the sense that vocal chords vibrated or pen touched page or meaning was transmitted in any fashion. But he was my teacher, and he said these things to me, and I have never forgotten them.

He said, "There are three nights that mean more to you than any other nights of your life. This is only true of nights, and it isn't true of mornings, or afternoons, or even days. Just nights. But it's not always the same three nights when you think about it. Best to avoid thinking about it for a while."

He said, "I don't believe in any of that soulmate shit, you know? But I do wonder if maybe we only got half a soul and we've got to find another person who has the other half. But not to stay around--just to trade, and after that they can leave and I can leave and it'll all be good. 'Scuse me, sir, I do believe you have my soul, yes, that piece there, and now I'll be on my way."

He said, "People like to say the world is a simple place. That's not true. That's not true at all. However, what they don't get is that the world was almost a simple place, but the calculations got screwed up by crows. And because of that, they had to work around a whole bunch of the tiny details, and now the world's as complicated as you can see. You wouldn't think a thing as normal as crows could do it, but you don't know a whole lot about planning worlds, either. I did until I dropped out."

He said, "Some people got loganberries, some people got strawberries. But some people got blackberries, so fuck 'em."

He said, "I used to sell music. Not sheet music. Not recorded music, either. And I didn't let anybody listen to it. I just sold them music. I figured people would want it. Turns out, people don't want music, only noise."

He said, "Some day, I'm gonna be dead. And you'll be dead, too. And all those people around you, and the ones down in the street, and up on the hills, and on the ocean, they're all gonna be dead. If that makes you sad, you're not looking at the big picture. And if that still makes you sad, then you're not looking at the little picture, either."

He said, "I say a lotta stuff. I don't say a lotta stuff, too, and that's gotta count for something. Not much, probably."

He said a number of other things, but a lot of them were quite boring. For instance, at least one-hundred and thirty of those things were just ordering burritos.